Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
