I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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