Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
