I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
