O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
