Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
