If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
