Having a random hookup so left but love u
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
