So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
