I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
