he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
