He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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