we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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