Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
