non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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