Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
