just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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