I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
