he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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