ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
