i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
