Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
