Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
