Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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