Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
