What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
