Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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