yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
