am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
