As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
