Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize