they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
This is my gift to your gina
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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