Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Everything about him screamed your future.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
