So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
