Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
