Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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