discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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