you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Randomize
