just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
