The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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