Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I need moral support for this bender
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
