Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
