Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
