so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
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