he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
it's like iHOP with fire
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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