I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
a search helicopter?!
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
