No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
