Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
