Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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