peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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