I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
