She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
