Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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