forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
